Melanies I Have Known

I woke up this morning with a song stuck in my head, so I googled the lyrics, found the CD on Amazon and ordered a copy.

The song was by a folk singer named Melanie who apparently was a contemporary of Johnny Cash.



It got me thinking about other Melanies I've known.

First and foremost, I thought of Amy's college roommate who I asked out once. I had two tickets for a Billy Joel concert and was looking for a date. She turned me down, but in the 30 seconds she considered it, she was the single most beautiful woman on the planet. It was the single best rejection I ever had.

A year later I was on the roof of Keeneland Hall with Chad and some male friends, and we were watching some amply endowed girl change her shirt. I realized with horror that it was Amy's room and that the girl was Melanie. I felt guilty and to this day when I hear the Weird Al song "Melanie" I feel a twinge of guilt.



Then there's my middle school counselor who said her name was Melonie because her mother said when she was born it was like pushing a watermelon out. I question the validity of sharing that with an 8th grader but I must admit it was a pretty good ice breaker, and I still remember the story until this day.

I had switched schools midway through my eighth grade year, and forgotten to return a library book. She offered to take it back for me (since she split time between both schools). When I found the book, I took it to her in her office and said, "Here's the book," without any explanation.

It was a book about Nazis. She looked uncomfortable.