Television and Brain Damage

I'm just going to come out and admit it - part of my brain is dead.

My wife used to carry around an MRI of my brain in her purse to show to the people who treated me, because it was hard to describe where the damage was. The middle of my brain is (or was) dead.

I said "or was" because the last time I had an MRI done, my brain already looked like it had begun to heal. It's not like I can drive to an emergency room and request an MRI just to see if my brain has finished healing.

Which is embarrassing, because I'd like to think I'm normal. I can dress myself now, and I don't feel any less smart. Not that I'm sure I would be able to tell.

The one side effect I noticed was that, since the stroke, I have become especially susceptible to advertising. Not surprising since in the hospital I started watching more television, since it was the only thing to do.

When my wife would stop by for her daily visit, I would beg her to bring me some Taco Bell or a pizza from Pizza Hut. She would almost always refuse, pointing out (very sensibly) that an excess of Taco Bell is one of the main reasons I had the stroke.

Which is true; they were one of the few places that was near the house, had a drive thru, and was open at 3 a.m.

Cardinal Hill had a contract with Jimmy John's to bring grinders and pizzas to the cafeteria but I would have had to put in my order the day before.

Anyway, when my wife picked me up from the hospital, the first place we went was Taco Bell. I had a box lunch like they had been advertising on the television, all night, the entire time I was in inpatient.

It was delicious.

And now I realize why the brain damage ward was key access only - anyone could have talked those patients into anything.

I still am unusually susceptible to television ads. Right now, I'm sitting at home waiting for Robin to get home and quietly humming the J.G.Wentworth song to myself. I'm not even sure what a structured settlement or an annuity is but suddenly I want one.

And I hope Robin brings me Taco Bell. Or Pizza Hut.